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Losing it

April 30, 2012

This was the dress I wore for my friend’s wedding in Koh Samui. I recently posted about toddlers and tantrums, which reminded me of the ordeal of getting this dress and how it caused me to throw my very own tantrum…

A week before the wedding, I decided that my Miu Miu dress (which I bought two months beforehand) just wasn’t what I wanted to wear anymore.* Work became really hectic so my week got reduced to only having a mere two days left to go shopping. Luckily I quickly found a pretty little number from Alannah Hill (a day before we were set to fly out) and arranged to pick it up after my nail appointment. Too easy right?

DH came to meet me and asked how long the nail appointment would be and I said I would be finished in half an hour. He then told me he was going to wait in the city while having a drink with a client, so we could then go home together. We had already arranged in the morning that he was going to pick up Lily from childcare. But as these things go nowadays (I blame it on pregnancy brain)… both of us got things muddled and it became rather messy.

I assumed that he was still picking up Lily and I was catching a lift with him. He was convinced that he got the ‘ok’ from me to go out for drinks so I would have to be the designated driver.

So 40 minutes later, I’m still in that freakin nail salon only realising how late I was when I glanced at my phone. My hands were obviously out of action but I knew I haven’t had any text messages so assumed (there is that word again) that everything was okay and that DH probably was already on his way to pick up Lily given that I was running late. Then I got the phone call. The phone call saying I said this and that and that and I would have to pick up Lily. It was 5.20pm and I had to collect Lily by 6pm so had no choice but to leave ASAP.

It would be an understatement to say I was pissed off. I was stuck in peak hour traffic and childcare were counting the seconds.

But back to the dress. Obviously I couldn’t pick it up so I called DH to say I wasn’t coming back to the city and he would have to pick up my dress and get Lily some shoes (something I had also planned to do) and catch the train or taxi home. I thought this was a simple enough task and wouldn’t take very long.

After getting busy with the packing, I looked at the clock and noticed it was already 7.30pm.  I gave DH a call and it went something like this:

“Is everything okay? Where are you?”

“What?? Crap..I gotta board the train…talk later-“”

“Er okay.” Phone hangs up.

I get another call 10 minutes later:

“I’m just letting you know that I got the shoes and I did pick up your dress…but um er now I don’t have it anymore…”

“WTF? What do you mean you HAD my dress??? Where the hell is it????

“I don’t know. I had your dress but now I don’t have it…”

“What do you mean you HAD my dress? Did it get stolen? Did you drop it? Did you leave it at the store? WHERE IS IT???”

“I don’t know… I had your dress but when I was about to get off the train it wasn’t there anymore….”

“Where was the last place you saw it?”

“I don’t know…I had it…”

“WHERE THE HELL IS IT??? HOW CAN YOU BE SO *BEEP* *BEEP* CARELESS? OMG I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW! YOU BETTER GO FIND MY DRESS!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!!!! I’M SO *BEEP* *BEEP* MAD AT YOU!”

You get the general idea. DH was a bit tipsy but trying to be calm. But I had already morphed into dragon lady. In my mind there was no point in trying to remain cool. And if I wasn’t pissed of before, I certainly was effing pissed off now. By epic proportions.

DH tried to explain what had happened but I just didn’t want to hear it. I was screaming at him hysterically and spent the next two hours going ballistic. I was hanging up on him repeatedly. He wanted to explain how he did pick up my dress but had no idea where it had gone. And it was just a dress. But all I could hear was “Still don’t have your dress. It’s gone and I don’t know where it is. OH AND YOU SUCK BTW HAHA” Hearing him ring again and again and then telling me he still didn’t have my dress was pure torture.

I screamed at him. I screamed at myself. I cried and wailed like…well like a toddler having a tantrum.

It wasn’t cool shouting and screaming the way I did. Over a dress. But looking back and reflecting, I guess it wasn’t really about the dress. I felt extremely stressed with preparing for Koh Samui, getting all my work finished, re-arranging childcare, deciding what to pack, researching child-friendly restaurants, getting vaccines sorted etc etc. It felt like I was juggling way too many balls in the air and I was desperate that I wouldn’t drop any and remain in total control…

And DH losing my dress seemed like the last straw. That he didn’t care enough to help me out. And here I am trying to juggle everything and I couldn’t even count on him to do something I thought was so simple.

Maybe I didn’t deserve things to work out. I should have collected the dress myself, been aware of the time at the nail salon, picked up Lily earlier, or even better choose the perfectly good Miu Miu dress to wear for the wedding…

But 2 hours later, DH was triumphant. He lost all hope until he returned to the station where the security guard recognised him and told him he dropped my dress when he was running to catch the train while on the phone with me. I guess I wasn’t the only one ‘juggling’.

I don’t want to give you guys the idea that this happens all the time. I don’t even remember the last time I seriously lost my cool like this. It’s certainly not ideal and even with all the stress I should really manage it so it never blows up and turns into a situation like it did this night!

Have you thrown a tantrum recently? How would you have managed this situation?

* Does this happen to anyone else by the way? You get all prepared but convince yourself that your efforts should go to waste and you really need the stress of starting again from scratch?

6 Comments leave one →
  1. DesertDarling permalink
    April 30, 2012 3:25 pm

    The dress is divine and you look so beautiful in it.
    Haha no you’re not alone, I’m always losing the plot.. Usually at The Mister and usually because of some small but vague/ careless/ thoughtless/ selfish thing he’s done. It’s a bad feeling when the dust settles and I realise I’ve totally over-reacted. But in my (our!) defence it’s tough juggling it all. At times it seems like we’re looking after everybody else and nobodies looking after us.. that if we want it done properly we have to do it ourselves.. all the little things can just add up are overwhelming. I’m always trying to deal with my anger in a more mature way but am prone to the odd ‘brain snap’ too. I probably would have thrown a big tanty too 🙂

    • April 30, 2012 11:45 pm

      Thanks for your comment. I was beginning to think I was the only person who acts irrational and throws tantrums! I think you described it better than me – in regards to feeling like we are doing everything ourselves and no one is looking after us anymore.

  2. May 1, 2012 11:44 am

    Love that dress! You look amazing (as always). As Em said you’re not alone…I lose it at Hubs all the time especially when I’m stressed out about something else. I think sometimes it’s warranted and other times it’s definitely me throwing a big tanty :p

  3. May 1, 2012 5:31 pm

    After going through a recent bout of ‘OH MY GOD, I have nothing to wear to this wedding’ I totally understand the stress of losing ‘the’ dress! Glad to hear that it showed up! And slightly tipsy husbands can certainly be frustrating at times!

    • May 26, 2012 12:12 am

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  4. May 11, 2012 2:38 pm

    Yup. I have tantrums from time to time too and it involves hanging up the phone if I’m angry. My husband will usually know that I’ve got the shits then. It’s normal and speaking to someone tipsy can make it blow up a lot more than it needs to! 🙂 xx

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