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The lost boys

May 26, 2011

I’ve always had more male friends than female. In school I gravitated towards guys as I couldn’t stand the bitching which seemed to alway present itself in girl groups.

University and work were also male-dominated; so it was natural for me to bond with the lads more.

But since giving birth, my male (mainly single and childless) friends seemed to have dropped off the radar. The constant SMS’s have disappeared and so have any invites for drinks.

I know I have a baby and people are quick to assume that asking me out to a pub would be inconsiderate, but hey an invite would still be nice! Are they just unsure of how to approach or identify with me now that I’m a mother?

When I was pregnant I didn’t exactly get sympathetic comments from my male friends. I was even recommended by one friend to have an elective C-section since the single mum he is dating had an emergency C-section and “all was good down there”??!! But I assumed comments such as these was due to naivety not disinterest.

Maybe I’m reading too much into this? Males aren’t known to be great at keeping in touch anyway so if I’m not constantly seeing them at work then it’s me who has really dropped off ‘their’ radar.

But I’m really appreciating female companionship a lot more now.

Motherhood has changed me in so many ways. I’m more in touch with my feminine side (as demonstrated by my emotional outbursts increasing ten fold!) and preferring the company of females. Although I have a few girlfriends, they have all been quick to offer their support and are genuinely interested in listening to me even if it’s all about Lily. An added bonus is I don’t feel uncomfortable breast feeding in front of them!

So has anyone else got an advice on how to maintain relationships with your male friends? 

3 Comments leave one →
  1. May 27, 2011 6:33 am

    Why don’t you arrange for a sitter (sitter, husband, mum etc…) to mind Lily and YOU organise a night out for a few drinks with ‘the boys’
    My husband and I are really close with a guy we both used to work with and I hadn’t been out with him/them in ages always making an excuse… So the other week I just turned up and joined them for a hour! I really enjoyed it and I could tell that Rob was really appreciative of it too.
    I need to do it more now rather than later and I don’t have the support in Sydney of someone other than close friends and husband to take care of Buggy because my parents are in Melbourne.

  2. May 27, 2011 2:25 pm

    I’ve heard its really normal for your friend groups to change when you have a baby…which made me sad as I love all my friends so I made an extra effort to keep in touch! Alas, going to the pub is out for us but we make up for it with many brunches/lunches! IWe also have everyone over for boozy dinners at our which is fun! f you get a little shy about breastfeeding (like me!) Ross bought me one of these feeding cloths in Tokyo and it is AMAZING! I feed everywhere!
    http://www.bebeaulait.com/

  3. May 31, 2011 2:32 pm

    shoesammie – Good ideas! I’ve already organised a day out at the pub a few months ago but now that Lily has given up her ‘dreamfeed’ at night maybe I can try organising a night out?

    Renee – I’m totally up for boozy dinners…been doing that with the couples and the girls…but boys are so hard to commit! Ooo will check out that link for the feeding cloths! Thanks!

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