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Pregnancy and sex

August 2, 2010

Well in a matter of weeks, it seems like my body has turned from sexy mumma-to-be sporting a ‘Gucci’ bump (or as my DH says, “swallowed a basketball”) into a huge blob. I’m grateful that I haven’t put on weight in my face, butt or legs, but my belly is enormous! Because it has happened so quickly,  I don’t think I have even begun to accept how my body has changed – and I doubt my DH has either.

I hear stories about pregnant people having amazing frequent sex. Um…I’m not one of them! Well I have to agree that the orgasms are a lot more intense but I’m just not doing it every night or every week for that matter. I don’t know many guys (my DH included) who would find a pregnant body to be a huge turn on. Or many girls who love their pregnant bodies so much that they become highly sexual and will initiate every night like some wild beast.

I’m  pretty much dead tired at the end of the day and while this happens, the baby goes beserk with kicking and rolling so it’s virtually impossible to be in the mood. My relationship with DH has now become pretty platonic and we talk about my body like it IS the actual baby, e.g. “Oh look at the bump, isn’t it so cute?”, or “Your waddle is so adorable.” And then there is the actual baby and every movement she makes causes me and my DH to grin with joy and excitement. However, this excitement doesn’t exactly progress from ‘cute’ to ‘I want to have sex now’.

Our focus lately has also been about my pregnancy and preparing for the baby: Pregnancy/Birth/labour research, antenatal classes, getting the nursery ready, demand feeding vs scheduled feeding, breastfeeding vs formula, disposable nappies vs cloth, preparing for my maternity leave, obstetrician appointments, pregnancy yoga, baby sales, endless questions from family and friends about the pregnancy! ARGHH! No wonder we don’t have sex on our minds!

So, I’m having very little sex.  I know it’s something I really need to address and talk about with DH. Since we are newlyweds, it is important to start our married life by prioritising and addressing our needs too. However, I don’t want to schedule sex like it’s some expected daily military drill either.

I’m not going to go into the benefits of having sex (as I’m sure you are aware of them already) but I have to say that not having regular sex has made me feel unattractive and not being wanted. 😦

So how does one separate the wonders of pregnancy (e.g. changes in my body, my baby moving, hormones causing me to be tired etc) with committing to regular and good quality sex?

Image courtesy of W Magazine

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