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The good, the bad, and the damn ugly

May 27, 2010

WARNING – Please do not read the following post if you are put off by all things negative or disgusting (and I mean disgusting!) relating to pregnancy!

Okay so you want to know the truth? Pregnancy is…ugly – very ugly in fact! I was lucky to not experience morning sickness (thank goodness) but did you have any idea there were other symptoms besides weight gain and possible stretchmarks? Maybe I was ignorant, but I certainly don’t remember my girlfriends or mum telling me it can be pretty ugly and gross experience. I certainly don’t recall any interviews with Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba which mention this either.

Firstly, your breasts grow which is great if you were a C cup like me and feel that you can rival any FHM model with your new massive boobs. While watching TV, you can’t help but notice your boobs are now so much bigger than everyone elses and you laugh off any previous desire to have a boob job. However, as they keep growing, they become so heavy and sensitive so even though your man will love them, it’s a strict ‘look-but-don’t-touch’ policy. Nipples also get darker, larger, and very dry (cracked even) so you feeling like a hot Playboy Playmate quickly passes!

So you didn’t think that was gross enough? Well this will surely get you then! Have you heard of Leukorrhea? It’s the odourless milky substance you get in your underwear and during your pregnancy you get more of it – lots more. Yoghurt in your panties – seriously! So plan to buy more underwear (both bras and panties) during your pregnancy…

Image courtesy of keli_h via Flickr

Oh, so what about the lovely pregnancy glow that everybody talks about? Caused by the increase of blood volume to provide extra blood flow to the uterus? Well,  I’m certainly not showing any glow! The opposite in fact! My skin is breaking out more than I ever did when I was a teenager and my usual acne fighting creams are no longer working. So I have seen a Dermatologist and was prescribed some other creams which have improved the situation but now I’m stuck with ultra-dry dull lifeless skin. And, since I have a permanent ‘I’m- so-pissed off-with-the-entire-world’ look, I’m definitely not showing any glow whatsoever!

Pregnancy causes you to be best buddies with your toilet. Not only due to morning sickness but you get serious constipation and hemorrhoids whilst being pregnant. Because your blood flow has increased, the veins in your rectum may become enlarged which leads to hemorrhoids. Pregnancy hormones slow the rate of food passing through the gastrointestinal tract which causes constipation. This will only get worst as the baby gets bigger and the uterus will push against the intestines which will lead to more constipation and hemorrhoids.

So with all these physical changes (including weight gain) your pregnancy hormones are causing huge mood swings. You will meet a side to yourself that you never knew existed – You have transformed into a 100% pure bitch (read more about this here). Happens to the even the most timid of ladies. I mean can you really blame us for turning nasty? Not only are we feeling incredibly yuck (due to above physical and emotional changes) but we are going through such a profound life changing experience and hence become very anxious, paranoid and scared.

So yesterday I was reflecting on the above when I realised I’m not really experiencing any positives aspects. My husband/friends/family also think I’m an emotional wreak , my sex life has evaporated and I’m no longer best friends with alcohol. So in whole feeling very down….

But then, you know what? I felt the baby kick…for the first time! I’ve felt a bit of ‘fluttering’ a few weeks ago but I wasn’t sure if that was the baby or just nerves but this time I knew it was definitely the baby. It feels like a dozen bubbles going off all at once in your belly! A really really good feeling. And today, I’ve felt it even more and simply cannot stop smiling! I’m elated in fact! Beaming! So is this the pregnancy glow that everybody is talking about perhaps?


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